The Way I Am Now (The Way I Used to Be) (Hardcover)

The Way I Am Now (The Way I Used to Be) By Amber Smith Cover Image
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Eden and Josh decide to give their relationship another chance in this much anticipated sequel to the New York Times bestseller The Way I Used to Be that “highlights with painful honesty the process of moving forward following trauma” (Kirkus Reviews).

Eden and Josh never had a fair shot at a healthy relationship. When they dated in high school, they each had their own problems getting in the way of the deep connection they felt toward one another. Unbeknownst to Josh, Eden was carrying the burden of a devastating sexual assault, while Josh was dealing with his own private struggle of having an alcoholic father.

Months after Eden and two other girls publicly accuse their rapist, Eden is starting college while her case goes to trial. Now when she and Josh reconnect, it seems like it might finally be in the right place at the right time for them to make it work. But is their love strong enough to withstand the challenges and chaos of college and the crushing realities of a trial that will determine whether Eden gets the justice she deserves?

About the Author

Amber Smith is the New York Times bestselling author of the young adult novels The Way I Used to Be, The Last to Let GoSomething Like Gravity, and The Way I Am Now. An advocate for increased awareness of gendered violence, as well as LGBTQ equality, she writes in the hope that her books can help to foster change and spark dialogue surrounding these issues. She grew up in Buffalo, New York, and now lives in Charlotte, North Carolina, with her wife and their ever-growing family of rescued dogs and cats. You can find her online at

Praise For…

“A magnificent and tenderly crafted novel that brings Eden’s journey to a fitting and honest close. Smith’s sequel is an empathetic and unflinching look at the journey through trauma to a place of healing and hope.”
— Kathleen Glasgow, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Girl in Pieces and The Agathas

“Readers who were captivated by Amber Smith's heartbreaking debut, The Way I Used To Be, will no doubt remember Eden and Josh, whose love story never had a real chance to take shape. The Way I Am Now is an absolute stunner of a sequel: a brave, complex journey of healing, relationships, and life after trauma. Amber Smith writes with unparalleled emotional nuance, and in her very capable hands, Eden and Josh are able to navigate new terrain both together and as individuals. A tender, vulnerable, and hopeful book that probes the intricate depths of human emotion.”
— Laurie Elizabeth Flynn, author of The Girls Are All So Nice Here and All Eyes on Her

“Amber Smith has a way of holding our hearts so even the hardest things seem possible. With The Way I Am Now, she shows us that the potential of love and healing, no matter how messy, are already, and always, inside us.”
— Amy Reed, author of The Nowhere Girls

“I could not put it down—a moving and powerful portrayal of trauma, love, and hope.”
— Alyssa Sheinmel, New York Times bestselling author of A Danger to Herself and Others

The Way I Am Now is powerful read from Amber Smith.”

“Highlights with painful honesty the process of moving forward following trauma.”

“Amber Smith centers the complex healing process and evolution of a promising relationship in The Way I Am Now."
— Publishers Weekly

Product Details
ISBN: 9781665947107
ISBN-10: 1665947101
Publisher: Margaret K. McElderry Books
Publication Date: November 7th, 2023
Pages: 432
Language: English
Series: The Way I Used to Be